When Will I Get My Chance

Every day, I wake up and begin the same ritual.
Indeed. ZipRecruiter. LinkedIn. Handshake.
Four tabs open. Dozens of windows. Hundreds of applications.
Most of them won’t even get viewed. Some will sit unread forever, lost in a sea of candidates that apparently look better on paper, or just knew someone who knew someone.

I’ve applied to over 700 jobs on Indeed alone this past year.
Seven. Hundred.
And still—I have nothing to show for it.

I have a résumé that isn’t empty.
Bachelor of Science in Anthropology, Summa Cum Laude. Phi Beta Kappa. Psi Chi. Dean’s List, multiple times.
Now I’m in a master’s program for forensic psychology with a 3.8 GPA. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned academic honors.
I have professional references—professors with PhDs who believe in me, who have vouched for me.
And yet, I can’t even land a job at a fast food place.
Not even a part-time gig at the same college I studied at.
Not even after losing a professor I admired deeply.
It’s like the world is screaming, “You’re not enough,” louder and louder every day.

I try to be optimistic. I tell myself maybe tomorrow will be the day. Maybe one of these applications will turn into a real chance.
But most days, I just feel invisible.

People say, “Keep going, something will come.”
They don’t see the toll that takes on someone who already feels like they’re fading.
I’ve started to wonder if I’m just going to disappear one day—quietly, anonymously—having never contributed anything meaningful to the world. Having never built a life I could be proud of.

It doesn’t help that this constant rejection has eaten away at any self-confidence I had left.
How can I even think about dating?
How can I ask someone to take a chance on me when I can’t even afford to buy them a bouquet of flowers?
I can’t picture a future where I provide for someone else when I can’t even provide for myself.

This isn’t about being entitled or lazy.
I want to work. I’m willing to start anywhere.
I’ve applied for jobs in education, in mental health, in customer service, in manual labor, admin work, retail, you name it.
Hell, I’ve offered to work part-time, remotely, hybrid—anything.

But it feels like no one wants to take a chance on someone who doesn’t already have experience—even though I have everything else: dedication, credentials, research skills, bilingual communication, empathy, cultural competence, and a fire to do something meaningful.

Every day starts to feel the same: I wake up, apply, wait, get nothing.
Go to bed, wake up, repeat.
The silence is louder than rejection.

I started this blog to get my thoughts out because I don’t really have anyone to say this to. Not without sounding like I’m complaining, or like I’m just “being dramatic.”
But this is my reality.
I feel stuck.
I feel like I’ve been trying to scream for help, but no one even turns their head.

And still—I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
Because what else is there?

If you’re reading this and you’ve felt the same—if you’ve applied and applied and feel like the world is ignoring you—I see you.
And I hope you find what you’re looking for.
I hope we both do.

—Ralph